Turtles-Paradise

I haven’t written in here for almost two months. I’m not going to apologise though, for I had very little to contribute in that two months. I was struggling with figuring out who I was, and what I really wanted from life.

For a long time, I thought I wanted that modern, minimalist, entrepreneur lifestyle. The kind that writes best-selling ebooks on a laptop in Peru. I thought I wanted passive income, freedom from work. It’s a lifestyle that’s sold as the future of the internet, and it’s an unsustainable one. People who buy ebooks, write ebooks. There’s an entire glut of info-products on everything from how to tidy your house to rigging your blog to attract a stream of profitable visitors.

The truth is, that freedom sounds tempting. Mostly because of that laptop in Peru. But who wouldn’t want to quit their day-job, travel the world, and whack out a few thousand words on nebulous subjects here and there?

The truth is, every possible tip on developing yourself and making a success has already been written down, and is probably accessible for free. Ebooks mainly repackage existing information, or personalise it with an individuals person experiences in applying it. That can be useful, make no mistake. There’s a lot of good ebooks out there. But the idea of writing one, of churning out SEO friendly blog content, or of relying on the circular – admittedly huge – internet marketplace was not for me.

Over the past two months I’ve purged my to-do list. I cancelled experiments with Mechanical Turk, survey sites, get two dollars a month for hours of work type submissions. I refused to take on any more web-design projects, bar a couple of minor modifications for long-term clients. I finished projects that had been hanging around uncompleted for months (sorry, Mum!). My husband received his visa, that means he has 99% of the rights and obligations of a British Citizen, and can stay here indefinitely.

And around two weeks ago, I realised my to-do list was empty. Done. Nothing left. It was the oddest feeling to be able to come home from my day-job, and just relax. Play a video game. Cook something nice. Or just lie down and drift into peaceful rest.

It has been a long time since I’ve had that amount of mental space.

It feels good. Really good. So good I’m thinking of patenting it as the new ‘cure-all’ drug and selling it for forty-seven bucks apiece. Only, sadly, you can’t bottle and sell free-time.

Anyway. All this is besides the point – the point is that I had some time to think about what I really want, and what makes me happy. The truth is, we are all different. What works for someone else, even your favourite guru, might not work for you.

So make your own mistakes, and learn your own lessons. There’s a bit of advice that’s been floating around for a long time.

initial post: Gratitude Wave #01: Appreciating the Music of Life
in reply to: Gratitude Wave #01: Appreciating the Music of Life
rules: Write a blog post with seven things you’re grateful for today in response to the latest gratitude wave post that hits you, update the “in reply to” link, spread the word about your post, so others will reply and the wave travels as far as we can make it! Check back at the initial post to learn how far we’ve made it after 24 hours!

My seven statements of gratitude:

1. I am grateful for the many tools and techniques I have access to, that enable me to easily perform tasks that would otherwise be impossible. A good example today: using a Fork Lift Truck to shift over 100 compost bins from a large truck to a safe place.
2. I am grateful for the internet, and living in a digital era that enables everyone to have a voice, and allows groups to form in ways that are not limited by location.
3. I am grateful for being surrounded by a loving and generous network of friends and family. It’s cliché but it’s true. Without you I wouldn’t be half the person I am.
4. I am grateful that I was born into a temperate, modern, wealthy country and have all the advantages that generates.
5. I am grateful for the opportunities I’ve had to travel extensively, and the amazing things I’ve seen as a result.
6. I am grateful for yoga.
7. I’m grateful for being born, for growing up, for being alive, healthy and happy.